Sample of work by Ally Stoyel
THE COLD FIRE
Close your eyes. Let the colours of the world wash away like paint from a canvas. Let your limbs softly free themselves from their rigid state and lighten, like electricity is streaming from them. Surpass gravity in all of it’s forms. Float gently, free from the hardened earth. Now breathe.
You can’t always believe what they tell you, you know. That everything happens for a reason, that what goes around comes around, that it’s always darkest before the dawn. Because it’s a fucking lie.
I won’t lie to you. Sometimes what goes around stops short of coming back, and sometimes the dawn never comes. Things don’t always happen for a reason. Sometimes, they just happen. It’s imperative that you understand this, that you don’t wrap the spurious delusions of the world around you for comfort. Otherwise you’ll spend your entire life waiting for some poetic closure to your story, but it will never come.
Life is not poetic. Life is complicated. It’s sharp, cruel, tangled, dirty, confusing, loud, deep, jagged, uncertain and unforgiving. When all is said and done, you won’t walk gracefully to the end of the road, you’ll trip and stumble across mountains and through rivers only to fall from the cliff abruptly, when you had no idea that you were so close to the edge.
There will be times when the sun will not rise for you and all of the light from the entire world will be sucked into oblivion. You will be buried alive, and you’ll have to claw and dig your way to the surface. When you get there and you take in a breath of sweet air, you’ll know that you need to keep on moving, and you will, but you will never be able to wash the dirt away from underneath your chipped fingernails.
You can never believe that another fall is not just around the corner, or that you won’t ever again know that bittersweet taste of sadness in your mouth. You will. It is inevitable. I can’t tell you to live without fear, because fear is what makes living so electrifying. And I can’t tell you that everything will be okay, because it won’t. But what I can tell you is that now is your chance. Go into the world and live furiously. Don’t walk, run. Take what you want, roam where you please, feel free to love, to hate, to laugh and to cry. Fight until your hands are bleeding and scream into the ether until there’s no air left in your lungs.
Because you only get one shot at this and in the end, none of us get out alive.